A Fallen Lost Love
by Liza Taylor
Summary: A broken man realizes he has lost a lot more than he thought to chase his ideals.. F/GO verse. One-shot. Emiya Alter POV.


**First off, Emiya Alter's design is utter crap. I'm sure anyone who has seen it can say exactly what is wrong with it. But anyway, I didn't write this to complain about that! I was actually inspired for this quick one-shot after reading the translated lines for Emiya Alter. It's just something so broken and tragic that I had to write something for my favorite Fate ship right? Haha. Like with my other F/GO fic, I really don't have any plans to expand it at this time, I just wanted to write something a little angsty...**

* * *

The first time I met her, she bumped into me as she passed a corner without looking.

Her soft brown hair fell around her in waves and she looked up at me with pure, innocent eyes. "Oh! I'm sorry!" She took a few steps back, her steps soft. "I didn't see you there." She blinked, her lashes were pretty long I noticed. "You must be one of the new servants Gudako summoned." She smiled.

It tugged at something cold inside of me. A glimmer of something that I perhaps had forgotten or something I used to be able to experience. I wasn't sure which.

"Oh, I better get going." She had a box of supplies in hand (why hadn't I noticed it before?). "I need to get these to their destination."

I stepped to the side to let her pass.

"You don't talk much do you? That's okay." Another bright smile. Why did those smiles of this woman affect me so? Everything was dead, everything was falling apart and yet…

"What is your name?" I asked before she was out of earshot.

She turned on her heel, the large purple poofy skirt spinning with her. "You can call me Hakuno. I've been here a while so if you need any help you can ask me okay?"

I watched her go. She didn't have the aura of a Servant. A CE probably. Hakuno huh?

* * *

Ever since our first meeting, I see her here and there. She's always around, helping other Servants. Gudako takes her out with some of the other Servants and she cheers them on from the sidelines. There are other CEs here too of course. I see them around. People of my forgotten past, a me that I do not wish to remember, items that might have held some significance to me, there were so many of these things around me.

I've seen them, I used a few of them in battle as per Gudako's wishes. However, whenever I returned, whenever she was out there fighting alongside a fellow Servant, a part of my attention drifted to her. Not enough to sway my concentration of the fight of course but just enough that I knew what she was doing and where she was.

It bothered me. It bothered me that this woman could spark something inside of me. Something that I thought was lost along with everything else.

I never spoke to her since that first meeting though. She would acknowledge me with a smile whenever she saw me and it caused the remnants of a spark in my heart despite the fact she did it for everyone.

I understood the truth a few days later.

Gudako made me run an errand for her. She wanted curly fries for dinner tonight or something stupid like that. I was about to walk into the kitchen but stopped when I saw who was inside.

The unspoiled me. He wore an apron as he juggled multiple pots and pans. By his side was her, Hakuno. She looked up at him and said something, a question about the dinner they were cooking.

He looked down at her and responded in a soft voice. Her attention turned back to the food prep in front of her but he looked at her for a few more seconds. His expression softened, a small lit up his face, his eyes…

He had the emotions I lost a long time ago. Of course.

His expression shifted as he realized I was in the doorway. Caution and disgust. Of course. I would want to destroy the repulsive thing before him. "Gudako wants curly fries," I said, focusing on my other self.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Hakuno jump and turn around.

He nodded. "Alright, I got the message." Cautious he was. I noticed how he had edged closer to her. What a hero of justice I was.

I turned and left as there was nothing else to say.

* * *

A few days later though I ran into Hakuno in the halls. Actually, it was similar to our first meeting that I have to laugh at the irony of it thinking back on it. She turned the corner and bumped into me, this time with nothing in her hands.

"Oh! I'm sorry!" she said quickly. She smiled. "Hello again! You know, I realized I never found out your name."

"My name isn't important."

"Oh don't say that. There's a lot of people around, with the Servants and CEs and all but I do want to learn them all." She put her hands before her back and smiled up at me. Such an innocent girl. So trusting. I could wring her neck right now and no one would notice or hear her scream.

I could never do that to her.

"You seem to be very close with the red clad Archer."

Hints of a blush coated her cheeks. "Uh well, he took me under his wing when I got here and he's been looking out for me-and you didn't answer the question!"

She puffed out her cheeks like a squirrel and glared up at me. It was so absurd he wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. Something like me should not touch something as innocent as her.

"You may call me Archer Alter."

"Archer Alter?" Her eyebrow raised slightly. She gave me a once over and her brow furrowed. A puzzle she wanted to figure out I realized.

I took a step back. "I am my own Servant, not related to anyone here." There were multiple versions of a couple of different Servants running around. I didn't want her knowing about me. I didn't want her pity, I didn't want her to try and change my fate. Why I felt like she would do that I could not say but it was a feeling I got, a feeling from the relationship she had with the unfallen me.

"Well nice to meet you Archer Alter!" She bowed. "My name is Hakuno but I think we both know that already!" She straightened and gave me that smile of hers.

I reached out, not sure what I was going to do. My hand stopped a few inches from her head.

"Is anything wrong?" She tilted her head to the side slightly. She looked above her head like she expected something to be there.

I pulled my hand back and forced a semblance of a smile. Anything that was left, I gave it to her in that moment. "Nothing. Nothing at all. I…I have to get going. Gudako requested me for battle."

"Oh! Sorry for keeping you then! You better get going, Gudako is scary when she is mad."

This time I was the one to walk past her. I passed the corner and slipped into the first empty room I found. I slipped to the ground and pressed my hand against my eyes.

And for the first time in a long while I felt the tears fall down my face.


End file.
